Tuesday, May 12, 2009
my math teacher's personal nickname is "disappointed with test results"
when i saw that the first thought that was in my head was "shit serene confirm your fault one."
interestingly this came just seconds after listening to the free cd given out on sunday, and the emphasis was that there's no condemnation and we have the spirit of sonship (meaning im a child of God, destined for greatness)
i quickly realized its easy for the devil to put thoughts in your head that makes you feel unworthy and sucky and loserish. and normal people definately have times that they struggle with inferiority complex.
i remember one church camp a few years back where pastor amos said dont blame everything on the devil. (that the devil very poor thing cos we blame everything on him) but i learnt something recently. that every single bad thought comes from the devil, NOT ME. when a bad thought is in your head, its never "serene siau, you are so stupid." its always "am i stupid? i think im stupid" the devil makes US think bad thoughts and make US think that WE thought those thoughts, and put all the blame on us. no wonder those thoughts come so frequently!
anyway, if i had kept that thought of "shit serene confirm test result suck because of you", i would have gone offline and probably to bed wondering again and again if it was my fault, and not be able to sleep. but because God knew that this was going to come, He made sure i listened to His word so i could put what i learnt into practice straightaway. because He is my Father, and my future is in His hands, i have nothing to worry about. My God is bigger than my future and can you believe it He's my daddy and im directly related to Him. i should be the least worried about anything and yet i worry all the time.
My God knows exactly what is going to happen before it happens, and He protects me from it by providing His word for me. He loves me. you know how mommies always test the soup before serving it to you? that is exactly what God does. He made sure i knew that i was blessed before i came online and saw this potential knife that i would have taken to stab myself with had i not listen to His word.
haha i love my daddy God!
-12:19 AM
fly high and free.
