Sunday, May 23, 2010
sadly, I don't think you really know me. you can say that you hardly do.
It's painful to know, especially after so much has been invested. so many memories, so much time.
it's been too long. I tried whatever I could. I ended up being hurt, rejected, misunderstood, pushed away, not spared a thought or any consideration. it's the same cycle with everyone. relationships seemingly so deep, chucked away like it never existed. whoever loves, whoever's the loser. whoever doesn't is wise. I don't think you understand/know/care to find out how dejecting and painful it is to be the initiator that receives no response in return. to wait for the never coming messages or replies. unanswered calls, all attempts to keep the relationship unreciprocated. returned only by the nonchalant laughter and apathetic shrugs. and yet continue to care so much for you when everyone else would have moved on. contrary to what it seems, I'm sentimental and find it difficult to ignore the brokenness, sweep the pieces under the carpet, pretend nothing happened and move on. It's just too arduous a task for me.
so the loser (surprise surprise) is me.
I guess what hurts the most is knowing that if you really cherish what we have/had you would make time to keep it, and not keep making excuses like you are now.
-6:15 PM
fly high and free.
